


Wanna know if your best friend is into dudes? Catfish him!

by afamouscannoli



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Catfish - Freeform, Catfishing au kinda, F/F, I have never used a dating app, I took my feelings about the guy I'm intos hair and had Michael say them, I wrote this at eleven at night and an earthquake happened, It'll end well probably, M/M, Pining Chloe, Pining Michael
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-12-31 13:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12133773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afamouscannoli/pseuds/afamouscannoli
Summary: It was all Chloes stupid idea and maybe Michael was dumb for going along with it but he really wanted to know the truth.---------------------Basically Michael ends up catfishing Jeremy and feelings and lying happens!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this chapter without checking for typos and it's 12:15 am so I'm sorry for any errors.

Look Michael didn't plan for this to happen. In fact he barely wanted to take part in it. But if he had the choice to go undo it all would he?

  
It all started one night when Michael and Chloe were hanging out because even though she was a complete bitch to him for the majority of his life they had somehow managed to become friends over their mutual pining for their best friends.  
The night had started with them talking about their feelings but it all escalated way too quickly.

“Ugh but his god damn hair is life changing. Last night when he came over I found an excuse to touch it like three times and AGH it's so soft and curly and ugh I want him to marry me.” Michael said defeatedly.  
“Mikey today Brooke wore a shirt that was so good looking on her and I feel your pain.” Chloe replied.  
“But at least you know she's into girls!! Jeremy is the most “no homo” straight guy out there.”  
“You don't even know for sure if he's straight!”  
“Oh trust me he is.”  
“Is he on bumble or tinder or one of those apps.”  
“I mean yea..”  
“Well then just look at his profile!”  
“You realize how crazy you sound.”  
“I think it's perfectly reasonable!”Chloe said pulling out her phone.  
“Plus I don't even use those things so I don't have an account. Plus don't you have to get like matched with someone.”  
“Trust me sweetie you would get an 100% soulmate level match.”  
“Do those apps even have that?”  
“Totally.”  
“Well if he saw me on there he wouldn't just be like “hey what's up dude. I see we got a match so let's fuck.” He's Jeremy he would just awkwardly ignore it forever or until I confront him which I wouldn't do!”  
“Don't worry about it.” Chloe said as she finally looked up from her phone.  
“What do you mean?”  
“I already made you a profile.” She responded turning her phone towards Michael.  
The photos on the profile were all of an olive skinned girl who had curly light golden blonde hair and greyish/light blue eyes. She was clearly very pretty. Chloe had put that she was a freshman at the nearby college, said she was 18 so she was a little older than Jeremy, worked at the Wetzel's Pretzels at the mall, that her name was Marley Chase, and Marley was was what seemed to be an all around perfect person. The most obvious catfishing ever Michael had thought.

“Chlo there is no way in hell Jeremy is dumb enough to believe this. Plus who even is this girl? I mean what if she's on here or Jeremy or whoever adds her asks for a photo of her with a spoon like those sugar daddies always do!” Michael responded slightly panicked.  
“Don't worry she's my cousin and would do pretty much anything for me. Also pretty much all of that is true!”  
“What isn't true?”  
“She actually isn't in college but she does live in a college dorm.”  
“Um how might I ask?”  
“Sneaks into her best friends dorm or her boyfriend's apartment.”  
“You made a fake dating profile to catfish my best friend using photos of your cousin who has a boyfriend?!?!!!!!!???!!!” Michael practically screamed.  
“When you put it that way it sounds weird!”  
“Cause it is!”  
“Soooooooooo have I gotten any matches?”  
“Ask a matter of fact you have! But none of them are future Mr. Mell.”

Several hours later, at midnight, after they had talked more about Chloe's horrible idea, made brownies, and watched shitty teen films it had happened.  
“JEREMIAH HEERE IS A MATCH WITH MARLEY CHASE OH YEA!!!” Screamed Chloe loud enough to wake up her neighbors, thank god her parents were out of town.  
“Oh my god what do I do?? I text him or whatever right?!?” Michael said once again freaking out.  
“Yes!!!”

Michael couldn't believe he was going to do this. He was going to catfish his straight best friend who he's in love with all to find out if he's actually straight, WHO DOES THAT?!

**Open conversation with Jeremy Heere:**

**Marley Chase** : Hi.

 **Jeremy** **Heere** : Hi Marley I'm Jeremy.

 **Marley Chase** : Hey Jeremy. I see you're in high school, hopefully you're of age cause otherwise I'll be leaving this chat and pretending it never existed.

_Michael winced, who the hell writes that to someone. Especially someone they want to date!_

**Jeremy Heere** : Ha nope! I'm eighteen and one of the older ones in my year.

 **Marley Chase** : So how are you doing? What are you up to?

 **Jeremy Heere** : Good I guess I'm playing some Uncharted which is fun. Hopefully you know what that is.

_Of course Jeremy was at home playing Uncharted. Michael knew how obsessed Jeremy was with Nathan Drake's adventures._

**Marley Chase** : Of course I know of Uncharted and Nathan Drake. Even though I am more a fan of the Grand Theft Auto.

 **Jeremy Heere** : Oh thank god. And GTA? You must be one intense girl.

 **Marley Chase** : around here (heere haha) they call me the female Trevor.  
Marley Chase: no they don't I'm not a psychopath don't worry.

 **Jeremy Heere** : wow joke about my last name original ;)  
**Jeremy Heere** : yea please don't be like Trevor(or any of the GTA characters for that matter) I don't want to date someone that is super crazy.

_Oh my god Jeremy... Date?! One thing Michael had always wanted to do and now Jeremy's bringing it up. Of course Jeremy doesn't know it's Michael which Michael may have forgotten._

_“Shit gotta act somewhat feminine on here.” Michael mumbled.  
“You got to find out if he's into dudes!” Chloe reminded him_

**Jeremy Heere** : you still there?

 **Marley Chase** : yea. Want to play the question game?

 **Jeremy Heere** : sure? But what is it?

 **Marley Chase** : I ask a question you answer it then you ask a question and I answer it and we'll do this till I'm sick of you ;)

 **Jeremy Heere** : which is hopefully never ;))

_Michaels heart may or may not have just exploded._

**Marley Chase** : Ok so what's your favorite animal?

 **Jeremy Heere** : Dolphin. Hbu?

 **Marley Chase** : a liger.

 **Jeremy Heere** : a what???

 **Marley Chase** : not your turn for a question. Favorite subject?

 **Jeremy Heere** : lunch. What are you majoring in?

 _Oh shit Michael hadn't thought this far so he Googled “random college major.” Astrobiology_  
“ok” Michael thought  
“I'll just do a lot of Googling if he asks anymore.”

 **Marley Chase** : Astrobiology. What do you want to major in?

 **Jeremy Heere** : idk probably something to do with the art. I forgot to ask last round! What's a liger?

 **Marley Chase** : it's when a male lion and female tiger have a baby together so it's like super cool.

 **Jeremy Heere** : Oooohh! My best friend made me watch a documentary on that once.

 **Marley Chase** : they sound cool

 **Jeremy Heere** : yea he is but he's a giant nerd.

 **Marley Chase** : how long have you known him/her?

 **Jeremy Heere** : I've known HIM since I was like three or four so pretty much my whole life. You got a best friend?

_Michael thought “hey I could totally talk about him and he won't know! Just make him a girl!”_

**Marley Chase** : Yea and she too is a giant nerd. Maybe we should set our best friends up ;))) is yours single??

_Chloe leaned over his shoulder to read the messages._

_“Dang you are just ready to transition into the sentence “would you suck your bffs dick!”” Chloe said_  
“NO! Well yes kind of. I'm just trying to figure out if he likes guys!” Michael retorted.  
“Fine.”

 **Jeremy Heere** : yea he's single but he's gay soooooooooo your lady friend won't do it for him. Is your friend single (in case I don't like you)?  
**Jeremy Heere** : that was mean I wouldn't do that but I do have a friend looking for a gf so.

 **Marley Chase** : duh she's single. So your best friends gay huh. Hbu?

 **Jeremy Heere** : honestly idk

_Michael squealed Jeremy may not be straight and Michael was freaking out._

**Marley Chase** : what do u mean idk?

 **Jeremy Heere** : not your turn for a question! Are you like not straight??

_“My cousin's pan just say that.” Chloe said way too excited._

**Marley Chase** : I'm pan so like I won't judge you. So what do you mean idk?

 **Jeremy Heere** : like I've had romantic feelings for girls and stuff but sometimes I'll be like what would it be like to kiss this guy or hold his hand. I mean I kinda put myself down as interested in both on here. Maybe look for a quick hook up with a guy to help figure it out??  
**Jeremy Heere** : wow I can't believe I just told this all to a girl I want to date because she seems super cool.  
**Jeremy Heere** : and I can't believe I said that  
**Jeremy Heere** : I'm just going to go  
**Jeremy Heere** : I won't be surprised if you don't talk to me again  
**Jeremy Heere** : I'll shut my mouth now Bye.

 **Marley Chase** : don't worry I won't judge and I'll be back. Bye <3 ;))

 **Conversation with Jeremy Heere closed**.

Michael was freaking out. The guy he liked just told him he is probably not straight and was totally flirting with him. He had to remember though that Jeremy has no idea that Marley is Michael or even a guy for that matter.

“I cannot believe this.” Michael said shocked.  
“I can't believe it worked.” Chloe said.  
“Ok please download this app onto my phone and log me in cause it looks like Jeremy and Marley are going to be having a lot more conversations.”


	2. Text your best friend as his dream girl and give him anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marley and Jeremy talk more. Michael falls deeper in love. And Jeremy has a bit of a realization!

Okay so it had been a little over a week since Jeremy and “Marley” started talking and the whole thing made Michael fall more in love with Jeremy. It seemed that Jeremy felt more comfortable telling Marley stuff than he did telling Michael and while that did hurt he was glad that he was still getting told.

**Continue conversation with Jeremy Heere:**

**Jeremy Heere** : Anyways cheese goldfish is the only acceptable type of goldfish and I'm done fighting with you over this!

**Marley Chase** : BUT YOU NEED TO TRY THE VANILLA CUPCAKE KIND!!

**Jeremy Heere** : they sound disgusting

**Marley Chase** : they're not =( they're great

**Jeremy Heere** : well when we meet you'll have to bring some.

_Michael didn't know how to respond to that. He knew that Jeremy would want to meet Marley but just throwing it into random conversations is adding to Michaels stress. Maybe he should call Chloe? No he totally has this._

**Marley Chase** : oh trust me I'll bring more than vanilla cupcake goldfish ;)

**Jeremy Heere** : you know I would like that<3 ;)

_Ah yes the part Michael dreaded the most... When Jeremy wanted to text sexy shit. Michael knew that he was the one who started it but Jeremy always would continue and flirt hard and say what he would do to Marley( and wow Jeremy is a lot more confident over text Michael realized) and let's just say that Jeremy's level of flirting wasn't the only hard thing._

**Jeremy Heere** : god I wish I could touch you

**Jeremy Heere** : I would kiss you everywhere ;))))

_Michael loved/hated this because on one hand Jeremy is sexting him (minus the pics) but on the other Jeremy has no clue it's him and would definitely never say this stuff to Michael._

**Marley Chase** : <3

**Closed chat with Jeremy Heere**

That was definitely enough for now. Michael could not risk getting a hard on at this hour especially from the least sexy text ever. He was about to put his phone away when.

**Player two** : Mikey help me :((((

_Oh god did something happen to Jeremy since he closed their chat? Michael went into automatic panic mode._

**Player one** : dude are u ok??????

**Player two** : No market left me after letting me think about us fucking and ended on a heart and agahhssjjs

**Player one** : you want to have sex with a market?

**Player two** : nOoo I mean Marley! The girl I've been talking to.

_“Yes definitely a girl.” Michael thought_.

**Player two** : I really want to meet her

**Player one** : u will

**Player two** : and when I open my mouth she's gonna be like “woah he's a loser” and leave which I'm surprised she hasn't by now Because you know I have a tendency to drive everyone I care about out of my life

**Player one** : dude calm down 

**Player one** : if she is still talking to you she must like you

_He felt bad he was causing Jeremy all this stress._

**Open chat with Jeremy Heere:**

**Marley Chase** : baby I can't wait to meet you ;)

_Ok so Michaels idea was to calm Jeremy down by sexy texting him this is the most dumbass thing he's done_

**Marley Chase** : when I meet you we're gonna have great sex.

_“Wow very sexy I'll be surprised if he doesn't die from being so turned on over that.” Michael thought and snickered to himself._

**Jeremy Heere** : <3<3

**Jeremy Heere** : we could do it in the staff room at your work

**Jeremy Heere** : nope not romantic I killed the vibe.

**Marley Chase** : yep mood dead and romance

**Jeremy Heere** : :((((

**Marley Chase** : I'm kidding! How could I stay mad at my sexually confused guy I like!

**Jeremy Heere** : that sentence was too much

**Jeremy Heere** : ALSO YOU LIKE ME?!

_Michael got a second text quick after that made him smile._

_**Player two** : DUDE SHE JUST TOLD ME SHE LIKED ME!!!!!_

_“Maybe this was a mistake?” Michael thought_

**Marley Chase** : of course I like you <3

**Jeremy Heere** : well I like you too

_Oh god. Heart. Cannot. Handle. Change. Topic._

**Marley Chase** : soooooooooo how's your sexual confusion going???

**Jeremy Heere** : well I like you and ur a girl so making me think I'm straight

_Damnit_

**Jeremy Heere** : but like if I tell you something do you promise not to get jealous????

**Marley Chase** : I swear on vanilla cupcake goldfish and my family I won't get jealous.

**Jeremy Heere** : Dang ur intense

**Jeremy Heere** : anyway I totally got a hard on because of a guy in my oceanography class stupidly perfect face and body so signs are pointing to I like guys too.

_“I'M IN HIS OCEANOGRAPHY CLASS AND HES INTO GUYS!” Michael screamed out loud accidentally._

_“Sweetie shut up it's two a.m! You need to get some sleep!” Michaels mom yelled down._

_“Sorry mom…” He awkwardly replied._

_Then Michael remembered. Our oceanography class is like 17 guys and 8 girls so like their is only like a 5.88235% chance that the guy was actually him. But on the bright side Jeremy now for sure knows he likes guys which is a major plus._

**Marley Chase** : I'm totally jealous

**Jeremy Heere** : you said you wouldn't be!

**Marley Chase** : I'm kidding! It's not like I don't feel that way when I see hot people too.

**Jeremy Heere** : ha

**Marley Chase** : soooooooooo

_Just do it. He won't know it's you. Hell he doesn't even know that this girl know anyone he knows._  

**Marley Chase** : since I know I'm #1 in your heart what did this guy look like.

**Jeremy Heere** : really nice hair and funny

**Marley Chase** : I need to know about my comp so tell me all!!!

**Jeremy Heere** : I'm tired but I will another time. Gn <3

**Marley Chase** : goodnight baby <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this instead of sleeping and dealing with the boy problem I've caused because I am stupid.


	3. Have your best friend want to meet this fictional girl that you're pretending to be then freak out when you think he figured out you're her

"I need to meet her." Jeremy whined as he leaned over to Michael on his beat up couch spilling a few of their Doritos out of the bowl.

"This again?!" Michael retorted.

"You don't understand she's literally perfect and is like a hot female version of you or me but is was more funny than either of us, no offense, and ugh."

"Wow you've got it bad."

"I know!"

"Especially for a girl you barley know."

"Hey not fair I know a lot about her! I've just never seen her in person."

"So once again a girl you barley know and have never seen."

Why am I doing this Michael thought to himself. I'm baiting him on but why. I don't want him to know Marley is me.

"Maybe I'll visit her at work!" Jeremy said ecstatically.

"Wait what?!" Michael practically screamed as he fell off the couch.

"I mean I know where she works and there aren't that many Wetzels Pretzels in Middleborough or even near us so she's bound to be at one of them.l

"Jeremy I REALLY do not think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Because what if she...What if she..."

Shit Mell think of something he thought to himself

"What if she has a boyfriend or isn't working and then you think she's lying."

"I already know when she works dude."

Fuck why did Michael tell him that.

"Then I guess you do you bro." Michael said trying to act calm while picking up his phone. 

 **You:** Chloe guess who Jeremy is going on a personal manhunt for

 **Chloe Valentine:** nOoo!!!! Why did you even tell him her real work?????

 **You:** cause I'm the biggest idiot ev

 **Chloe:** Valentine: tru 

 **You:**  bitch

"Dude who are you texting?" Jeremy asked. 

"Chloe but it's nothing important." Michael responded setting his phone down. 

"okay I guess."

"gotta whiz I'll be back." Michael said as he stupidly got up to go to the bathroom phoneless. 

Michael pulled his fly down and started to think to himself. 

Maybe he should tell Jeremy the truth he thought. I mean maybe he won't hate you. What did you expect? For Jeremy to fall in love with Marley and you'd both be happy just texting for the rest of your lives?? Gosh maybe I should stop sending these messages. But then Jeremy would be heart broken. Agh this is too much to think about while peeing. 

Michael flushed the toilet and went back out. 

"Dude I had no idea you were on any dating apps." Jeremy said when he saw Michael. 

"What do you mean." Michael said shell shocked. He didn't have his own profile on any but he had Marleys. 

"When you were in the bathroom you got an alert you matched with someone or something like that which was funny because I had just texted Marley."

"Ha yea crazy."

"Should I be expecting to see your profile as a match on here soon?" Jeremy said half jokingly half serious. 

"Maybe if you don't spend all your time talking to Marley you will and also did you just kind of come out to me or was that some lame pun?"

Michael already knew Jeremy was bi but Jeremy hasn't actually told Michael, he told Marley. 

"oh shit I guess."

"woah so now we're just two dudes who are into dudes chillin in a basement high which reminds me of..."

"OKAY YES I GET IT YOU WALKED IN ON ME WATCHING A SHITTY PORNO WITH TWO DUDES WHICH I WILL NOW ADMIT WAS NOT ON BY MISTAKE AS I SAID PREVIOUSLY!" Jeremy shouted. 

"noice." Michael said laughing his head off. 

"I wouldn't tell Marley about the porno though when you meet her."

"Shut up Mell." Jeremy said giggling and hitting Michael with his Nova from Starcraft throw pillow. 

And in this moment Michael knew Jeremy could never know that Michael was Marley because it would ruin their friendship, the past 13 years and crush him completely. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who didn't re read her writing. Yep me!

**Author's Note:**

> Guys an earthquake just happened and also all that stuff about soft hair is due to the fact the guy I kinda like was at my house the other day and I touched his hair and it was so curly wtf.


End file.
